Thursday, April 12, 2012

Spin The Black Circle: Green Day trio of albums?!?

Is there really that much of a whiney, pseudo, political, rock ballad-y, music deficiency that we need THREE Green Day albums within 6 months?

Quick breakdown, hot off their "awesome" Broadway musical version of "American Idiot" Billie Joe, Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool have decided that starting in September ( wait for it... wake me when september ends... rimshot) 2012 and then plopping in November and finally hitting the spittoon bucket in January 2013 we are going to be doused with new Green Day albums.
Pretentious much
Now let me stop and say I'm not one of these cock-slobbers that piss on a punk band for "selling out", as I could give a shit less how much you get to spend on making a record. I'm not gonna proclaim that "they were better on Lookout... meh meh bleh meh"
All I'm looking for is music in the same vein of that which made me a fan in the first place. It's not like I want a band i like to record the same album again and again. Switch it up a bit. There is a lot of wiggle room in there, try new elements, but to seem to abandon 98% of which made me dig your music in the first place is pretty much unforgivable. Don't give me the goddamned bait n' switch.
I don't like the term "punk rock" because there is so much that is lumped into that genre that doesn't really belong... for instance Yellowcard, X Ray Spex and Flogging Molly really have very little in common besides a somewhat similar tempo. "Punk rock" to me is more an ideal, a way of thinking, going against the mainstream. Not being some stale, hemoginized rock that appeals to and everyone no one. You don't have to play loud, dumb and fast to be "punk" but when I do use the term "punk rock" it's usually to describe a band that does play loud, dumb and fast, just the way Poppa likes it, actually my favorite bands do it up loud, SMART and fast.  The Talking Heads weren't typical "punk rock but they did hold the "punk" ideals I have always found so appealing. They were only about experimenting which is what drew me to them but if they released an album that was basically like "77" it would defeat the purpose of what i dug about them and I'd be pissing and moaning about that.

So I don't fault Green Day for experimenting, that really isn't my gripe, it's what they have shedded to end up in a place where they think its cool to release three albums in such short succession. First off, have you heard "b-sides"? Seems like these guys are cranking out songs faster than a chronic masturbator with two cocks.
I really enjoyed "Dookie" always hated the name but i digress on that point. I thoroughly enjoyed that album and was in heavy heavy rotation in my early teen years. Fucked up relationships, masturbation, not feeling comfortable anywhere were themes that made me adore Green Day. As they tore through simple slightly sloppy songs, they were almost MY "Ramones" if you will. I loved "39 Smooth", my grandmother for my birthday bought me "Kerplunk" and I played the shit outta that too. "Insomniac" had a little darker tone, bit rougher but I still dug it. It was a bit of a departure from the syrupy sweet sound on "Dookie" but I liked their experimentation still had all the right notes of what made me a fan to begin with. "Nimrod" is where they seemed to follow a much more poppy sound. Again pretty good, even if that damn "Time Of Your Life" shitty fucking ballad that became every graduation's song for years after had been played ad nauseum. "Worry Rock" "Take Back" "King For A Day" all song that were gems on that album. "Time Of Your Life" marked where flirtations with pop radio became cupping the balls of bland radio rock. Kind of the transition from "poppy punk" to "blaaaaaggggghhh rock".
Now I liked a fair amount of "Warning" it was good for what it was but you can see them going very catchy, playing at the pop radio crowd straying ever further from the roots of what made me like them to begin with.
Then they plopped out a greatest hits and then a b-sides record. Then somewhere between 2000 and 2004 Billie Joe jumps on the political bandwagon to seemingly keep "punk cred" even putting a song on NoFx frontman Fat Mike's Fat Wreck Chords comp "Rock Against Bush" but along the way they turned into some again I really dislike using the term, but "punk rock" version of Rush. "American Idiot" was a bloated corpse of an album with 9 minute songs that were three half-assed songs strung together with this terrible "suburban messiah" theme that crapped up the record. I hate concept albums and this was perfect example of why. Ego + too much studio time = this musical miscarriage that is "American Idiot". And when there isn't song so long that they put Angels and Airwaves to shame, there are bland gener-rock ballads. hhuuuuaaaahhhh! Not to mention the obvious rip off of Minneapolis' Dillinger Four on the single "American Idiot"
"Yeah let's have songs that criticize the president no one likes and we can reference the world trade attacks indirectly a couple of years after it's become chic. We can still be edgy and appeal to the masses"
Fuck you, ya ego driven fucks. This is where began when I was lost forever as a fan.
Then they record a live album which is basically "American Idiot" with a couple older songs where they criticize the president but it's recorded in ENGLAND! Capitalizing on the overseas distain for America, the fucking cowards.
Look I hated that fucking playground cowboy we got shafted with for 8 years as much as anyone could but it feels so cheap, to be so shitty and cliche' in the way you go after him. I'm just saying that there were bands who were much more creative in their rebukes on that administration.
Then, aahhhh, then we get 21st Century Breakdown. Again another cocksucking concept album, about as awesome as a narrative that Marilyn Manson might squeeze out. Broken up into three acts once again with songs that are smashed together like sitting between two obese guys riding in coach. Sweaty, smelly gross and an experience you never want to go through again. My teeth grate when I think about this album. Even those reviews that Rob Reiner reads to Spinal Tap about their albums ("Shark Sandwich= Shit Sandwich") are too warm than what this album deserves.
Hooray then released as unwelcomed as frogs in Australia one more live album this time in Tokyo.
These guys seem to think very fucking highly of their songwriting capabilities and seem to be more than happy to wring every last dime out of their fanbase. Then they made a musical of "American Idiot" and Billie Joe even played the "Jesus of Suburbia" character for a run. To quote The Ramones " D.U.M.B. everyone's accusing me"

Finally back to the matter at hand this year we are getting a golden shower of three albums cleverly titled: "Uno!", "Dos!" and "Tre!" The sheer gall of it is mind-boggling. From this band singing simple song about unrequited love, bumming around and being a fuck-up to these grandiose pant-loads that "make a statement" Yeah, the statement is you now make mongoloids for albums.
The worst part is that this latter day rim jobbing has tainted (puns are wonderful) my view on their older material. I've been so saturated with mediocre gener- Rawk and Roll meh meh (pretend I'm saying that with my face scrunched and in a mocking voice) that is has fucking ruined my enjoyment of once cherished songs. Maybe I'm getting old, maybe I'm jaded, I don't care. I have no earthly fucking desire to be ear raped by either of these three upcoming albums. This is what happens when you can afford to live in a studio, every song begins to sound like a keeper. Before we would get the dreaded double LP now we get a third toilet coater.
Atleast I still have my Nofx, Dillinger Four and The Lawrence Arms that won't let me down like an old drinking buddy sitting on the same stool, he might order a different drink now and again but it's still about getting shit-faced.