Sunday, April 3, 2011

Boob Tube: Wrestlemania 27: updated.


I've been a wrestling fan since I was a child.
Phhhhheewww!!!! There I've finally outted myself.
That took a lot to admit that, its a secret shame that only a few close friends now about me. What can I say it's a soap opera for guys( the obvious excuse) plus just as fixed as basketball but atleast wrestling is more interesting. In both the referees know how its gonna end.

I only watch Monday Night Raw these days because besides How I Met Your Mother there is never anything worth watch on Monday nights.
Plus its just tradition that Mondays are wrestling nights, what with being a product of the Monday Night Wars and all.
Hot Rod Roddy Piper and Macho Man Randy Savage were my favorites back in the 80's when I started watching when we would go over to my uncle's house to be babysat on saturday mornings. The tradition just carried on through the 90's when Bret Hart and Diesel(Kevin Nash), Razor Ramon("last call" Scott Hall") and the Undertaker(when he really looked pale and dead) were my favorites. Never really cared for Hulk Hogan, I liked Jake the snake Roberts more dark promos as well as The Macho Man's insane rants.
Today I feel like I've seen it all. No storyline surprises me anymore, well thats got a hell of alot to do with no other wrestling company being REAL competition to the WWE.
Still I watch, primarily these days in hopes that I'll get that surprise swerve that I've been craving.
Well tonight is Wrestlemania 27 and I am actually gonna watch. My first Wrestlemania that I didn't rent on VHS like I use to do in the summertime when I was a teenager with nothing better to do.
SPOILERS AHEAD
The card this year is pretty spotty. The match I am hoping that steals the show would be C.M. Punk vs. Randy Orton. These two are some of the finest to watch these days especially Punk's work on the mic. I hope he lets it all hang out and pulls some old moves that he used in R.O.H.( youtube it) and if he does it will be amazing. SAD C.M didn't get the win.

The other "superstar" to watch is Daniel Bryan(Brian Danielson in the indie circuit). This dude has skills that would put Bret Hart on his best day to shame if given the go ahead to put his skills fully on display. *UPDATE: the match between Daniel Bryan and Sheamus for the US Title was bumped from the show because they payed that Jersey Shore whore to do a two flips and win a match. I call bullshit.
Otherwise we have the Streak continues match Undertaker(who looks so broken) vs. HHH. Mr. Stephanie McMahon can't win this match, because its obvious with the Undertaker running on fumes( he gets vacation after WM until Summerslam at least then again until Survivor Series which then comes back in time for Wrestlemania) next year's WM will be his last with him going out on top at 20-0 undefeated streak. Again I'm hoping for that swerve but I don't see it happening in this match. This was a match and a half. IMPRESSED.
Miz vs "Super" Cena with The Rock going to be involved somehow. I'd guess Miz will win as a way for Rock Vs Cena at Summerslam or maybe the long build for headline next Wrestlemania. Somewhat called it, yet not really. Interesting ending way to work the Rock into the match. Hope we get a heel turn out of Cena somehow even though Rock obviously was the bad guy in the situation. 
Then we have the trainwreck match 6 person match involving the trashy fucking girl with the poofy hair from Jersey Shore(horrible excuse for a "celebrity" simply because people wanna see her get punched). Its sad that John Morrison is booked to wrestle this match because this is gonna be my bathroom break match whether I gotta go or not. Morrison deserves much better than this. All he got to do was his finisher outside the ring and that was it. LAME. This match was ASS and not like wow she's got a nice ASS, much much more like someone just dropped ASS let's get the fuck outta here.
Filler 8 man match that I could care less about. No one else cared either it took longer for everyone to get to the ring than for the match.
Rey Mysterio Vs. Cody Rhodes: I hope to see Sin Cara(Mystico in Mexico again Youtube him) show up Let's say Rhodes wins by a DQ somehow. Good to see it end in a clean victory.
Then we have the feel good match with Jerry "the King" Lawler taking on the announcer Michael Cole who has played the Bobby the brain Heenan role with an even more obnoxious and grating personality, much like Andy Kaufman. Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna stunner someone and Lawler wins plain and simple *everybody cheers* Well he won but he didn't win... not as satisfying even if Stone Cold stunned everyone except Lawler. 
Last match to talk about is Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio wins because they have been ramming this guy down the audiences throat for months. I'm hoping they don't turn Christian heel during this. I wanna see Edge and Christian be the good guys together for a while. They can turn him when the pay off is a match at Summerslam instead of Backlash or Extreme Rules. Can't believe this match opened.
That about sums it up. I hope against hope that with this being the "superbowl of sports entertainment" they don't just paint by numbers because that would be absolutely shitty. I don't wanna feel like I could have written better storylines.

Yes, I am that big of a dork that I wrote a whole blog about Wrestling. The little kid in me can't help myself.

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